How I Found Routine Worked For Us At Bedtime

    

                                  

              

                            

                                

I Don't know about anyone else, but before I turned into a 'Bedtime Routine Mum' my baby was not a fan of going to bed, I was literally doing everything I could every night to get her to sleep. From rocking her in my arms, walking up and down the house with her in my arms, shushing her to sleep, singing little rhymes to her quietly, giving her 8oz of milk to put her in a milk coma, and when we were really desperate Adam used to put her in the car and take her for a drive(my mum and dad used to do this with me). 
Looking back now it was a total disaster and so unorganised, we would literally 'WING IT' every night and see what worked each day. For us this was what suited us best at the time, we were always busy and would either have visitors round until 9pm ish, or we was out and wouldn't get in until around 8 so there was no bed time at all. 
She never really got into a sleeping pattern for daytime either so she was just sleeping when she was tired which is fine when she was a small baby but as she was getting older I definitely should have been more strict with day time naps. 
Primrose has a nap in the morning now at 11am, then she will have another nap in the afternoon at 3, both naps are only be around 30/40 minutes. She has never slept for longer, she is such a light sleeper in the day especially if were in the house, I don't know whether its because my house is so peaceful haha!
With this 'non routine' bedtime we had going on, Primrose was also waking up a lot in the night, she was wanting to get in our bed and also wanted milk, she literally could go through 20oz each night through waking up, this was a total disaster for us especially because going back to work was creeping up to me and I knew I had to change something as I was literally a walking zombie!!! 

A lot of mums around me were saying how much they were in a routine and there baby does this and there baby does that. I always said I'm not that fussed about being in such routine as a mum and I just wanted to live each day as it comes and try different ways of being a mum and see what worked best for me and my baby and also Adam. 

With Primrose literally only ever falling asleep on me at bedtime, I knew that if I started a routine it was going to be hard for us both but I wanted to stick to it and I knew it would benefit us both because Primrose will be a lot more happier in the day time and she wouldn't  be as tired and grumpy from being up every hour throughout the night. 

Night 1 of my new bedtime routine
Primrose had a bath at 8pm, she had a little play in the bath for around 10 minutes, we got her out took her into her room with the lamp on, put her into her PJ's, then I sat on the rocking chair and gave her, her milk. She was still awake once she had finished her milk, so I put her down in the cot, said good night, turned the lamp off and walked out closing the door too on my way out. Straight away she stood up in her cot crying. I had been advised from an experienced friend who had been in my situation before, to let her cry for 5 minutes then go back in to lie her down and 'shhhhhhhh' her and walk back out with no communication other than a gentle 'sh'. She was up again and was crying, this time I left her a little longer to cry before I went back in to lie her down, she cried again, this was going on for 40 minutes on my first night of 'routine'. Good god did I just want to go in her bedroom pick her up and hug her so hard, I hateeeeeeeeee hearing my little baby crying especially when me as a mother was so used to holding her until she went to sleep as well. I was sat at the top of the stairs right outside her room, but I was finding it too hard I literally wanted to cry with her and it was making me a little mad hearing her cry so much but I wasn't doing anything about it. So I went downstairs and CLEANED THE GOD DAMN OVEN to keep my mind busy and not just focused on Primrose crying. Adam during this time was going in and lying her down. 
40 minutes later, the cry started to get less louder and she was having breaks in between before she would cry a little more again, before it eventually stopped. I think because she was so upset after crying for that length of time, it really tired her out and she just fell asleep. 
She woke up once this night and I literally walked in, lay her down and she fell back to sleep. She then woke up at 8am the next morning, as soon as I walked in her room in the morning she was so happy to see me I picked her up and she rapped her arms and legs right round me as if she hadn't seen me for ages - best feeling ever, considering I basically had a full nights sleep in what I remember being like 12 months ago (bearing in mind I didn't sleep much towards the end of my pregnancy, just from being so uncomfortable). 

Night 2 of my new bedtime routine
Primrose again, had her bath at 8pm, put her PJ's on, give her her bottle then put her down in her cot to go to sleep. I think she knew what was coming because it was like she expected to be put in her cot after her bottle, she only cried for 15/20 minutes this time round, and it wasn't such an upset cry tonight so I knew it wasn't going to be as hard for me to leave her to fall asleep on her own. We did just the same going in laying her down and walking back out but we left her to cry a little longer this time round just because I knew she wasn't as upset. She fell asleep, I went in to check if she was OK, she looked super comfy and flat out. 
She didn't wake up once this night!!!!! We was literally amazed, but we found in the night me and Adam was waking up several time and we was talking saying we don't feel right with Prim not waking up anymore! Adam would go and check on her every time we woke up just to make sure she is OK. 

Primrose was now in a bedtime routine, she seemed so much more happier in herself in the day time, and she started to settle so much easier at night time ready for bed, she was getting all the hours her little body needed. Plus me and Adam got our evenings back, I could sit down with a cup of tea and watch what ever I wanted on TV(not god damn baby channels) or do what I liked with my evenings, I felt like I had a new life it was great. 
I definitely think having some time to yourself in the evenings just to wind down from the crazy filled day you have just had (just being a mum in general) and restore all your 'adultness' you have left in your mummy life(Adam just proof read my blog and said this bit sounds like i'm being rude hahaha!) and talk English and not baby language. 
This was great!! 😅😂

I think we were in such shock because she literally went from one extreme not going to sleep until gone 9pm and then waking up every hour and because she was up so much in the night we was that tired we just put her in our bed, to the other, and we couldn't believe how a little change into her life in the evening settled her, she went to bed and slept for the full night and wasn't waking up until 8am in the morning. 
Our lives had a whole new meaning again haha and I found myself wanting to do more with Primrose and I had a lot more energy because I was getting a full nights sleep every night. 
This routine malarkey is the best thing ever!!!

For us, with our next baby I think we will introduce the bedtime routine into there life a little earlier, and put the baby in its own room from quite early on. Just to make it easier for us all as a family.

Thank you for reading this blog, as I say if this blog helps just ONE struggling new mummy out there going through the same problem I was going through then my time writing this would be so worth my time.

Love

PAIGE PICKERING